Talk politics.

This story is dedicated to a brave warrior for justice and social equality, and a true defender of the poor and oppressed masses.

Dear comrades and comradesses! If you thought class warfare was never present in children's tales, then you had been in delusion for far too long. But now, being the generous bloody-pinko-leftie™ that I am, I'm gonna open your eyes for the truth and direct your attention in the only true direction: namely, the leftist, class and progressive one.


Case in point: the Little Red Riding Hood. The truth protrudes from the very title of the story. Even small children know since day one when they begin sucking on society's teet that the color of the progressive classes, the oppressed proletariat and the hard-working peasantry, is scarlet! So why is the Riding Hood red, rather than, say, blue, green, or even orange? Why isn't it colorful? Children do love colors and shiny things, don't they? Well, it's because the young lady has been cradled in the progressive ideas of socialism, her family has been fighting the good class fight for generations, and as a gesture of solidarity with the most progressive ideology humankind has ever invented, she has pulled on a red hood. That's why. Basically. Which, in turn, reminds us of another great hero of socialism, also of the Hood dynasty, who lived in a famous wood somewhere in North England.


But let's get back to our young fighter for justice. As a sign of solidarity and social responsibility, the brave heroine has set foot across the dangerous woods of capitalism, bringing a basket of food supplies to her old granny. The elderly lady lies on her bed in her little hut, exhausted from all the exploitation she has gone through all her life, now cast away from this cruel society at the far end of the forest as the useless, expendable liability that she is. Not to mention what a leech on the body of social welfare she is!

Here's the place where I point your attention to the curious detail that the working mother and Miss Hood herself are living at one end of the above-mentioned forest, while the exhausted grandmother resides at the opposite end. No doubt, the evil capitalist system has totally kicked her out of society, and left her without any medical assistance. The granny is sick (at the far end of the forest), and the compassionate Miss Hood and her mother are struggling to make ends meet (still at our side thereof).

That said, we're now seeing the brave and determined little kid trotting in a hurry across the dangerous dark woods, full of solidarity and compassion, trying to bring the basket to her grandmother.


Little, but very crucial lapses in her earlier political education have failed to provide the young girl with the necessary qualifications that would allow her to recognize the incoming Wolf as the primary class foe that he is. A true member of the privileged 1-percenter clique. So here he is, coming right at her with a broad grin on his sly face, and selling her snake oil by using his mesmeric PR skills. He says he has picked up a bouquet of red flowers for the workers' parade on May 1, which he intends to bring to Ms Granny.

So, while, in turn, Miss Hood is squatting around the meadow, picking up flowers for her granny and composing heroic socialist slogans for May 1, her class foe is already on his way, rushing headlong towards the hut at the far end of the forest. Because every class foe looks to exploit the working masses until their last breath.

Mr Wolf then breaks into granny's home, and in quite a capitalist way, urged by his irresistible greed and gluttony, he swallows the poor old lady in one piece. This, of course, is an allegory too, alluding to the fact that the class foe has now deprived the grandmother of pension, property, and quietly boring, but deservedly prosperous future.


The ensuing dialogue between the two sides, Miss Hood and Mr Wolf, is quite indicative of the social gap that has cracked open right through society. The class foe, now disguised as a pensioner, is having a nice chat with the little progressive future proletarian.

"Granny, why are your ears so big?"
"So I can hear you better, m'dear".
Here, the inherent insidiousness of evil capitalism is seen, claiming to be hearing the lamentations of the oppressed proletariat and the hard-working peasantry.

"Granny, why are your eyes so big?"
"So I can see you better, m'dear".
Here, what's revealed is the inclination of the class foe to watch the oppressed proletariat and the hard-working peasantry with a vigilant eye.

"Granny, why is your mouth so big?"
"So I can eat you!!!", the class foe roars, and he jumps at the Little Red Riding Hood.

Still, we have to acknowledge that the evil capitalism didn't completely destroy Miss Hood (or her grandmother, while we're at it). He swallowed them both in whole, so he could retain the opportunity to keep exploiting them at some later point of their miserable existence.

Then, content and proud with his temporary victory, the class foe (Mr Wolf) lies down in bed and snores away.


Just as one might've expected, a group of guerrillas activists of the Comintern, armed with AK47s and lots of enthusiasm, happens to be passing through that part of the woods at the time. Posing as hunters, they're keeping an eye on this sector of the front in the class war, just in case some class foe went astray and has lost themselves among the trees. So when they hear someone snoring loudly in a hut in the middle of the day, they instantly (and correctly) conclude that it must be a class foe - because at that time of the day, the oppressed proletariat and the hard-working peasantry are bending their backs from hard work, and accumulating goods and capitals for the benefit of the class foe.

So they decide to check what's going on, and, being the well-trained Comintern activists that they are, they quickly organize a special op, surrounding the hut, securing the perimeter and storming into granny's bedroom.

Just as they're going to shoot the evil capitalist sleeping pig wolf, they hear voices inside his belly. It's the Little Red Digested Hood who's explaining to her good old granny that the fight against the evil capitalism should be carried on until its victorious end. So the commie activists find some big progressive scissors, they rip the belly of evil capitalism open, and finally free Ms Granny and Miss Hood. Applause sign goes off, and the audience is triumphant.


Thus, the oppressed proletariat and the working peasantry are able to re-invigorate their base, and the leftist activists rejoice and celebrate yet another victory over evil capitalism, which, as history has shown time and time again, they're only able to achieve through violent, revolutionary means.

The End.