As an aside, having looked at the incel movement, I guess I've always been in a position of privilege myself. Though not an "alpha male" by any stretch of the imagination, I was reasonably good-looking, charismatic (requirement in the music biz - lots of it was artificial swagger, but some of it stuck after time) and known to be, er, interested in matters carnal, if not actually competent. The fact that I was the skinniest snake-hipped guitarist in town meant that I didn't have to persuade anyone to do anything really. Even so, I had my fallow seasons. (It wasn't as though I looked like a young Johnny Depp. I was OK-looking for a guitarist, not a movie star. Also getting laid often depended on what hair I was wearing that season: blue spikes, sideshow Bob dreads, or a shaved pate; each had rather different responses from potential bed-partners.)
I guess if you look like Harvey Weinstein your options are very different. The overall gender-context of the whole debate is so damn complicated; but there must be rules of interaction between folk which are determined by informed consent within the context of the law.
As always with me I take each case on it's merits. The Ronaldo rape case is being re-opened as we speak. You'd have thought that there was a guy who could get laid just by batting his eyelashes at a lass. Her testimony indicates her amazement at his behaviour given who he was/is, and his David Beckham-like super-footballer attractiveness.
Nothing about any of these cases makes any sort of sense, so we have to assume that there is something from the limbic system which, when interacting with testosterone or adrenaline, over-rides sense completely in some people, the overwhelming majority of these being male.
This is becoming a bit depressing. Maybe it's time for those straight/straight-ish chaps who don't agree with the current way of going about things to join in with the LGBTQ community in promoting a different set of models. Maybe the BDSM community can give young men an idea of the rules of engagement wherein it is possible to dominate and assert within the context of informed consent. As long as the safe word stands for "No", then you're good to go. (BTW, not my thing, but I have known folk for whom all of that was a requirement. But when preparation and clean-up takes that long, really, who can be bothered except enthusiasts?)
Sometimes rape may be about sex as much as power. So we are thinking more about the rules of appropriate sexual engagement in the modern world, and how to allow our cultural norms to adapt to the new reality. Some folk, of course, would wish that none of this were happening, and that women were chained to the house and children, and sodomites were righteously stoned to death as per Old Testament rules. And the folk that have such beliefs are often also the folk who believe "boys will be boys" as long as it's not their own daughter in the firing line.
As for me, I'll stick to rum and sodomy, so to speak, but shall do without the lash, being averse to pain.
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Date: 4/10/18 08:43 (UTC)No longer interested.
As an aside, having looked at the incel movement, I guess I've always been in a position of privilege myself. Though not an "alpha male" by any stretch of the imagination, I was reasonably good-looking, charismatic (requirement in the music biz - lots of it was artificial swagger, but some of it stuck after time) and known to be, er, interested in matters carnal, if not actually competent. The fact that I was the skinniest snake-hipped guitarist in town meant that I didn't have to persuade anyone to do anything really. Even so, I had my fallow seasons. (It wasn't as though I looked like a young Johnny Depp. I was OK-looking for a guitarist, not a movie star. Also getting laid often depended on what hair I was wearing that season: blue spikes, sideshow Bob dreads, or a shaved pate; each had rather different responses from potential bed-partners.)
I guess if you look like Harvey Weinstein your options are very different. The overall gender-context of the whole debate is so damn complicated; but there must be rules of interaction between folk which are determined by informed consent within the context of the law.
As always with me I take each case on it's merits. The Ronaldo rape case is being re-opened as we speak. You'd have thought that there was a guy who could get laid just by batting his eyelashes at a lass. Her testimony indicates her amazement at his behaviour given who he was/is, and his David Beckham-like super-footballer attractiveness.
Nothing about any of these cases makes any sort of sense, so we have to assume that there is something from the limbic system which, when interacting with testosterone or adrenaline, over-rides sense completely in some people, the overwhelming majority of these being male.
This is becoming a bit depressing. Maybe it's time for those straight/straight-ish chaps who don't agree with the current way of going about things to join in with the LGBTQ community in promoting a different set of models. Maybe the BDSM community can give young men an idea of the rules of engagement wherein it is possible to dominate and assert within the context of informed consent. As long as the safe word stands for "No", then you're good to go. (BTW, not my thing, but I have known folk for whom all of that was a requirement. But when preparation and clean-up takes that long, really, who can be bothered except enthusiasts?)
Sometimes rape may be about sex as much as power. So we are thinking more about the rules of appropriate sexual engagement in the modern world, and how to allow our cultural norms to adapt to the new reality. Some folk, of course, would wish that none of this were happening, and that women were chained to the house and children, and sodomites were righteously stoned to death as per Old Testament rules. And the folk that have such beliefs are often also the folk who believe "boys will be boys" as long as it's not their own daughter in the firing line.
As for me, I'll stick to rum and sodomy, so to speak, but shall do without the lash, being averse to pain.